Save me, O God, because I have come to you for refuge. I said to him, “You are my Lord; I have no other help but yours”.

I was reminded of my tendancy to lean on and rely on myself. Whether it’s in times of need or having a task at hand, I have a tendancy of making it, “my thing” and not turning to God when I should. I asked myself today, “Why do I find it so difficult to ask for God’s help? Why do I solely depend on myself to make something happen and not turn it over to God? Why do I assume I need to do it all on my own?”

When I asked myself these questions, the only answer that I could come up with was, “I have absolutely no idea.” When God has consistantly showed up in my life, over, and over, and over, why is it do difficult for me to trust that God is there in times of need and that God will do great and amazing things? Is it pride? Or maybe I don’t really believe that God is going to come through this time?

The truth is, God has never let me down. Sure, there have been times of disappointement and heartache, but something great and wonderful came out of all of those experiences. God makes beautiful things out of the dust. Note: You should check out the song “Beautiful Things” by the band Gungor!!

So how can I make it more of a habit in my life to turn things over to God; to rely less on myself and more on a God that has everything in control as my world is in chaos? I don’t believe that I am called to sit and do nothing. I know that we all need to make of point of doing something, but at what point does God step in?

I need to remind myself who God is and what God has done in my life. God has shown up. God has done great things. God has shown me that it’s all under control and that I can trust God.

Maybe it’s as simple as saying, “God, I don’t have all of this under control. I need your help for this to turn into something great.” And then….

To God be the Glory.

As I drove by a homeless man on the side of the street today, I wondered about his desire for community; a desire for someone to REALLY know him, his story, and his needs.  

I can not imagine the lonliness that is involved with being homeless.  I know that I have often been guilty of avoiding eye contact with the man I see holding a sign on the side of the road.  It pains me to think that he may go an entire day without one person looking at him in the eye. He goes ignored and unnoticed.

Some may say, “We give money to build shelters for the homeless.” or “We served a meal to the homeless at our local shelter.” These are all good things. Things that need to be done. People need to have their basic needs met. I believe however, that sometimes we forget to fulfill another basic need that is at the very core of who that person is; the need for community. We attempt to keep those “untouchables”, the ones that we are afraid to look at in the eye, at arms length. Why? I don’t know for sure. I think we are often afraid. We are afraid that we will not be able to help. We are afraid that we will be taken advantage of. We are afraid that we will not be able to get ourselves out of a situation. We are afraid that (insert your fear here).

It’s not that I do not feel that we should be cautious in life. We should, but are we becoming so cautious that we are closing people off? Some may say, “Well, that is the job for the social worker. To listen to them and get to know them.” Really? That sounds like a cop-out; like we are trying to put the hard job on someone else because we don’t want to get our hands too dirty.

We underestimate a simple conversation, a hello, a smile, a hand shake, and a “how are you today?” We underestimate what it means to look someone in the eye. Looking someone in the eye is huge!!! It says, “I SEE YOU!!!! You are not forgotten. You do not go unnoticed.”

Now, I know that there are some out there that do not need to or want to be noticed or bothered. I know that there are people that will attempt to take advantage of a situation. It probably wouldn’t be the wisest choice to go down a dark alley by yourself one night to strike up a conversation with someone, but I feel that God gives us opportunities to reach out…at the bus stop, over a cup of coffee at the local coffee shop, and the list can go on. I once heard of a group of college students that would buy a pizza and take it to the near by park where the people who slept on the street would hang out. Imagine the relationships that were built and the growth that happened over that meal.  

Breaking down the barriers involves more than just money. It involves relationship and community. When there is relationship and genuine community, suddenly there is a name and a face to the homeless. It’s not just the “homeless man on the corner” that needs help. It now becomes “my friend Gregory”, who is homeless, needs help.

I know that this will not be easy. It will require stepping out of the box, but I don’t think God really wants anything to be too easy for us. If it were, it wouldn’t be extraordinary.

I think part of my frustration branches from the fact that I don’t hear God telling me to do something in the clarity that some others do. It makes me feel like one of God’s rejects that just can’t get the “faith thing” right. When I feel this way I begin questioning myself and my faith in God. Why is God ignoring me? Why isn’t God involved in my life like God is involved in others? Do I need to work harder for God to speak to me? Why am I not worthy?

I am sure that there are times that I just haven’t been listening or I’ve been running so fast that I forget to even pay attention to God, but why isn’t it ever as clear for me as it is for others?

Maybe it’s because God doesn’t speak to me in the loud, booming, movie-like voice that I believe others are hearing. Maybe God speaks to me in a whisper that is found deep in my soul. Maybe we need to remember that God is more infinite, mysterious, and powerful than we will ever be able to imagine and that God may choose to speak to each of us differently. Maybe each of our souls contain a specific “God Language”.

I believe that God can speak to each of us in a different and unique way. Maybe God speaks to you through other people, through creation,or in a work of art. God may even choose to speak to you through a movie,  a book, or a song.

I remember when I was in high school and I was longing for God to speak. I had spent a week rafting in Montana. I was surrounded by mountains and the beauty of God. I had never seen a bald eagle before so I asked our guide if there were any in the area. He proceeded to say that bald eagles were endangered in the area and they never saw them. Within a few seconds, something swooped down from above us, skimmed the river, and soared back up in the sky. As our eyes looked above, there we saw a bald eagle. For fifteen minutes the eagle traveled downstream with us and as it did, it soared higher and higher in the sky.

That was God’s voice speaking to me in a language I could understand. That was God stating, “I am here and I am as closer than your next breath. I love you and here is how I will show you.”

I have a feeling many of us feel frustrated when we feel God is silent. We feel distant from our creator. We wonder if God is really there. We wonder if God cares. Often we wish God’s voice could be more clear. Sometimes we just need to slow down or stop talking to hear God’s voice, but maybe we  have not recognized the language that God is trying to speak to us through. We may even be passing it off as coincidence.  

Don’t base your faith journey on how others hear God or how often you may or may not hear God’s voice. Know that God’s voice may come to you in a different way. Maybe a quiet whisper in your soul? Maybe in the snowcapped mountains? Maybe through the words of a best friend?

What may be God’s language for you?

One thing is for sure; I am finding that the phrase, “You are only as old as you feel!” is very accurate. I may have just celebrated my thirtieth birthday, but I feel I have a heart of a ten year old. I wouldn’t say I have the maturity level of a ten year old, but I “play” like a ten year old.

Last night at the Upper Room they talked about “play” and how for many of us, our lives are very void of play. We spend so much time focusing on some things, and not enough time playing. We forget that we can learn and grow as much through playing as we do from the “important things” in life. Jesus even associated himself with playful children. He says, “unless you change and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” I don’t think this is saying that we should live our lives as adults with the maturity level of children, but I think it is saying that we should live our lives with the humility and the playful spirit of a child. So, I’m thinking we should all play a little today!!

Speaking of play, I had a great birthday filled with lots of play. I wanted to send a thank you to everyone that made the day extra special. Turning 30 was something that was really weird to me, but you all made it a lot of fun and I am so excited to see what this next year brings. I have the best friends and family anyone could ask for. Here are a few pictures that my sister and some friends had captured over the weekend.

“I want to play with the lions in the savanna. I want to jump off the highest waterfall. I want to climb to the very top of Kilimanjaro.” Yes! That is ultimate freedom.

But we also want to be secure. We want to stay alive and feel safe. We want financial security. We want to be protected from accidents, criminals, etc. We want to know that our tomorrows are going to have all of our needs for survival. To survive, I believe we need to feel some sort of security. Absolute security means that we never have to worry about anything. I can live each day assured that I will not be hit by a car, loose my job, or be placed in any sort of harm. To live this life of absolute security, I’d have to build a house with padded walls, sit and never move, and have no interaction with the outside world. Sounds like a life worth living!!

I wouldn’t say anyone lives in either of these extremes. In life, we have to find an nice balance between the two. I feel like often times however, I start to live life a bit too much on the cautious side, and we loose site of the creativity and adventure in life. More freedom is going to mean more risk, more vulnerability, and more opportunities for us to get hurt and when I look at my life, I feel like more often than not, I am playing it pretty safe.

I’m not saying that we should all live our lives carelessly, but what are we missing out on by being too fearful of some of the “unknowns” in life? Are we living with equal balance? Are we stepping out of our boxes and really experiencing all that life has to offer?

As I am writing this, the movie The Bucket List comes to mind. If you have not seen it yet, go rent it! It’s an incredible movie. In the story, two men that have been diagnosed with life threatening cancer, find themselves venturing out into the unknown, doing things they never dreamed themselves doing. They find that through the course of these adventures that they have learned a lot about themselves, each other, and the world around them. The new freedom that they have found has allowed them to truly live a life of gratitude and love.

Each day is filled with moments for freedom and moments of security. Which are we choosing more of? Do we stay on the safe side of the fence, allowing ultimate security to rule our lives? Do we live our lives carelessly, believing that nothing will ever harm us? God assures us that, in the midst of freedom, risk, recklessness, chaos,  and insecurity, God will help us sort through the confusion.

So, three cheers for creative living and being a bit less afraid of stepping out into the unknown, but doing it with eyes wide open. Who knows, maybe I will end up on that motorcycle someday!

So today…I’m going to try for 20 minutes of simplicity. I’m going to take a bit of time and just enjoy that place, that time, and not think about the loads of other things going on. I don’t know for sure how that is going to work out, but I think it’s worth a shot. I’ll let you know how it works out, and if you care to join me, you can do the same.

I hope you all enjoy a bit of the sunshine today and the simplicity that we are blessed to have each day.